I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
