Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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