have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
