dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
