My liver just broke up with me...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
