we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
