Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
