I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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