Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize