my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Randomize
