Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
