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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.

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• (310): View more from California

  LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.

  (310): View more from California

  And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.

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  Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?

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• (760): View more from California

  Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.

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  19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.

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• (972): View more from Texas

  It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option

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• (323): View more from California

  All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.

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