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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too

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• (805): View more from California

  Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.

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  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.

  Fav 15 2185 892

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• (917): View more from New York City

  He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.

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  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.

  (1-505): View more from New Mexico

  So when can I meet her?

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• (407): View more from Florida

  It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok

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