I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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