woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder