I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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