remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon