Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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