I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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