Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
