It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
