Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
