She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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