I wish I could teleport
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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