she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
