I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize