Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
