I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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