You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize