is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
