Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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