very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
