My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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