Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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