Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
