is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
And then my night got REAL pukey
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
