just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
You're like the curious george of whores
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
