You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
