doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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