I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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