this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
