Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The uberlube is also flammable
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize