definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
