I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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