Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
