Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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