Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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