Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
