My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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