Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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