is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
