Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
