Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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