I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
