All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
