i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
