I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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