i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
