i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
