i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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