my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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