I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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