It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
