Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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