I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Randomize
