you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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