Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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