she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
